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    Well, it's technically a story. Right?

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    Should I make this into a story form or keep it in screenplay form?

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    Zalgo the Imminent
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    Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:31 pm

    Scene 1:
    First shot, a man standing at the edge of a cliff wearing a green cape over his right arm, a pitch black blade protruding from the cape, his back facing the camera. Camera cuts to his face, showing him to be in his early twenties. His eyes are closed for about 5 seconds before bursting open, pitch black like his blade. He jumps from the cliff, which is a twenty foot drop, and lands on his feet in the desert below. Camera cuts to a trail of bodies in front of him, leading about 100 feet away to another man, back to the camera, with bright red hair. The first man walks calmly to the red-haired man. Once he gets up to him, he taps him on the shoulder.
    "Aloysius, how do I know that's you?" The redhead says, not turning around.
    "Simple. I live here. What's your excuse, Adam?" Aloysius replies.
    Adam turns, his golden eyes revealed. He looks somewhat older than Aloysius, maybe 2-3 years. Camera cuts to the sheathed sword on his waist, a small flame flickering on the pommel. Camera cuts to Aloysius' sword, which has an aura of darkness around it.

    ________________________________________________________
    That's all for now. I'll write more eventually.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:48 pm

    No feedback yet?

    That somewhat sads me.

    Oh well.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:53 pm

    This is for the game?
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:01 pm

    Yes, it is.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:06 pm

    I picture it as dramatic realistic drawing storyboard.
    Old fashion art mixed in with cinema scenes.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:09 pm

    O_o

    I was going for a bit of an Oblivion feel with cutscenes, but that's okay too. To each their own, right?
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:10 pm

    lol Yep
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:13 pm

    Oh, forgot to put, if you vote other, specify what you mean please.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:08 am

    NEXT PART! Very Happy

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    "Wouldn't you like to know?" Adam says with a small snort.
    "Just about as much as you wanna know about these blades." Aloysius retorts.
    "Hmph," Adam turns back the way he was facing before. The sun is setting on the battlefield,and a dust cloud forms on the horizon.
    "Looks like we got company," Aloysius says as he grips his blade a little tighter.
    "Then let's give 'em the grand welcome that brothers do, eh?" Adam says with a smirk as he unsheathes his blade. Camera fades and the player is thrust into 1st person view as Aloysius.

    --------------------------------------------------------------
    Couldn't write as much. Hafta go to class. See ya later, guys!
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:03 am

    NEXT PART!

    ----------------------------------------------------
    First person view as Aloysius. Player sees Adam rushing towards the dust cloud just before a tutorial box appears telling the player the main controls. When they figure out how to move, and as soon as they get close enough to the dust cloud, the real fun begins.
    The dust cloud is revealed as an army of 250. 50 elves, 100 humans, 49 orcs, 30 noggles, 20 avens, and a single gnome weilding a dagger at the beginning of the fight. The player is prompted to atack the gnome before killing anything else, since Adam will be attempting to keep them away from Aloysius. Battle ends when the gnome is defeated.
    Cutscene starts with the gnome on the ground, helmet on, dagger 5 feet away. Gnome stands up as Aloysius starts toward it.
    "Think we should spare him, Adam?"
    "Him? I take some offense to that!" The gnome says with a hint of disgust in her voice. The gnome pulls her helmet off, revealing very light blond hair and crystal blue eyes. She then unsheathes her main sword, which is the same color as her eyes, and raises her left hand, causing Aloysius' feet to be frozen to the ground by a large chunk of ice. Camera fades again. A new battle begins with a tutorial box popping up saying "If you don't get out of this, you're toast. call for help by pressing (X for Xbox360, Square for PS3)". When the player does that, Adam jumps in front of the gnome's blade, blocking it with his own while melting the ice with a small fire from his hand. Battle ends almost as soon as it began.

    -----------------------------------------

    There. A bit more of a taste for ya.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:49 am

    Camera focuses on the gnome for a couple seconds before panning just over her shoulder to a single Orc swinging his axe at Adam. Before it hits him, the gnome blocks it, holding her other hand up, signalling for him to end the assault.
    "They have the same power as I. Let them live," She says in a commanding voice. The Orc acknowledges her order by turning to the rest of the army and holding his axe up, signifying the end of the battle.
    Aloysius steps forward, asking the gnome, "Why'd you attack us with an army? Seems a bit unfair."
    "For who, you two or the army?" The gnome asks with a slight smile.
    "Either or. But could you answer my first question, please?"
    "Of course. Espra's government told us to attack anyone left on the Battlefield of Fallen Shadows. That's where we are, right?"
    "I didn't think women could join armies," Adam says, somewhat confused.
    "Maybe not where you guys are from, but Espra allows it. Haven't you fought an Espran battalion before?" the gnome replies somewhat condescendingly.
    "...Touché..." Adam says, turning his head so as to not look at the gnome anymore.
    "By the way. What's your name, gnome?" Aloysius chimes in.
    "Zam. Lieutenant Zam Emlia, at your service. And yourselves?"
    "Aloysius and Adam Noxrath. Brothers of dark and fire."
    "Sister of ice. Nice to meet both of you," Zam says with a nod of acknowledgement.
    "So, now what?" Adam asks.
    "I think we should see if there are others with the same power as us. I mean, there can't just be three blades like ours. They're very similar if you look at them," Aloysius says, looking at Zam's sword, then Adam's sword, then holding his own up.
    "Hmmm. I guess you're right. But where do you think we'll find them?" Zam asks.

    -------------------------
    Alright, now for a bit of a break. I'll post more tomorrow.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:49 am

    "Perhaps in the other lands. Plain Tanab? Swampy Gris? Your home of Espra? The forested Yana? Maybe the harsh volcanic lands of Junda. We can't tell if we don't move, right?" Aloysius asks. Camera shows Zam and Adam in thought for a coule seconds before fading again. Playerr now has the choice to go to Tanab, where they'll fight Illney, Gris, where they'll fight Gruum, or Yana, where they'll fight Danielle. Game logo appears for a couple seconds just before the player regains control over Aloysius.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Jade, your part's coming up soon. Be prepared for more of Illney's lines.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:00 pm

    Scene 2a
    If the player goes north, after getting to Tanab, they’ll find Zam and Adam, Adam on the ground, bleeding from his right arm.
    “Whoa! What happened?”
    “We tried to go a different way than you. Adam was somewhat worried about you going alone.” Zam says with a hint of fear in her voice. “You got any Kavu blood on you by chance?”
    “Not to my knowledge, no. Sorry. How’d this happen?”
    “We…Came across another…Blade.” Adam manages to sputter out through bouts of pain. He attempts to sit up, but falls right back down. “Grayish… In color… Held by a noggle.”
    “I think it’s Eye of the Storm. They seemed to keep blowing us back without actually hitting us.”
    “Where’d they go?”
    Zam points north to a small village blocked by a small battalion of giants, kitsune, and nacatl. “There. Those guys seem pretty hostile, though, I doubt they’ll let you through without a fight.”
    “Fine. I don’t care. I’ve been itching for a fight for a while now.” Aloysius says, taking his blade before walking off. Camera fades. Player should walk up to the head Nacatl. Once they do, cutscene starts. Camera shows Aloysius walking up to the general before he talks.
    “Good day, sir, and how is everything here?”
    “Leave now or I’ll have my fighters end your pitiful life right this moment.” The general replies curtly.
    “I believe I’ve lost something in your village. A noggle, actually. Have you seen them?” Aloysius asks, unfazed.
    “I said leave. This is your last warning.”
    “Please, won’t you let me through to find my friend?” Still unfazed by the hostility.
    “That’s it. MEN, TO ARMS!”
    The entire battalion (About 50 troops. 10 giants, 20 Nacatl, 20 Kitsune) draws their weapons before the camera fades. Battle starts with a tutorial box popping up telling the player “Giants are stronger than your average fighter. Take them down and the battalion turns weaker.” If they heed the warning, they might stand more of a chance. If not, they’ll stand less of a chance by a large margin. Battle ends when the only enemy remaining is a single Nacatl or Kitsune. Camera fades to kitsune or nacatl on the ground, trying to crawl away, with Aloysius walking up to them before pinning them to the ground with a blade in the tail.
    “So, now will you cooperate? Or do I need to continue mangling you in any way I deem necessary?”
    “I’ll cooperate! I’ll cooperate fully!” The kitsune/nacatl cries in terror and pain. “They’re in the village! Probably near the windmill in the center! Please, let me go!”
    Aloysius pulls the blade from the kitsune/nacatl’s tail. “Alright. Thank you.” And he starts walking towards the village. Camera fades again. In the village, there are various nacatl and kitsune troops who will attack on sight, but they’re not much trouble. Once the player reaches the windmill, camera fades.
    Camera shows Aloysius looking at the windmill for about 5 seconds before a female voice says, “Hey! How’d you get through the battalion?” before Aloysius looks up to see a noggle with a grayish blade in her hand jumping from the top of the windmill, landing in front of him with the blade pointing at him.
    “Don’t tell me you got through them. That can’t be possible. No, they’re probably just on break. Yeah, that’s right, the lazy scoundrels.”
    “Actually, I did kill them all. Save for one Kitsune/Nacatl. They just have a stab wound in their tail.”
    “Oh, a formidable opponent! Fun! And from what I can see, you wield a blade like mine.”
    “Yes. And?”
    “Now we fight! Fun, eh?”
    And then she lunges, cutscene ends, and player is thrust into a battle with the noggle. A tutorial box pops up, saying “Noggles get tired after attacking REALLY easily. Take that opportunity to strike with all you’ve got.” At which point the noggle will be right on top of the player, trying to get a quick slash or two in. If blocked, these slashes blow the player back about 10 feet instead of dealing damage. The player can either attack by themselves or defend until the noggle gets tired then attack. If they choose the first one, it lasts until the noggle is down to 1/10 health. If they choose the second method, cutscene starts when noggle goes down to ½ health.

    Scene 2.a.i.
    If the fight is at full power, the noggle is down to 1/10 health, cutscene begins with the noggle lying on her back, blade 10 feet away from her hand. She has a dazed look on her face as Aloysius walks up to her, pointing his blade at the middle of her forehead.
    “I’ll give you two choices. You either die here or tell me your name.” Aloysius says to the noggle.
    “Alright, I guess you win. Killing me would only cause a bit of contempt between my people and yours. My name is Illney.”
    “Well, Illney,” Aloysius says before moving his blade from her forehead, “How about a bit of a proposition. You come with me and travel around all of Ralaa, and I don’t kill you and neither do my comrades. How’s that sound to you?”
    Illney stands somewhat unsteadily, walking over to her blade and picking it up. 2 seconds pass before she says, “Eh, I guess I could spare my services for a while. How long didja have in mind?”
    “Until all the blades are reunited.”
    Illney turns back to him. “And how long will that take? ‘Cause I got some other stuff I gotta do in a few weeks.”
    “Dunno. Could be 2 weeks, could be 5 years. We don’t know who has the blades, where they are, when they’ll surface if they haven’t already, or what caused them to appear.”
    “So, you’re sayin’ that you haven’t a clue as to when this whole ordeal’ll be over, Right?”
    “Correct.”
    Illney turns around, her back to the camera for 3 seconds before turning back with a smile and a thumbs up. “Alright. I think I can tweak my plans a bit. Count me and Eye of the Storm in!”
    “Just promise you won’t attack them unless in self defense.”
    “Attack who?”
    “My comrades who you attacked earlier.”
    “Oh! The gnome and the fire-wielder?”
    “Yes, them.”
    “Oh, alright. I promise I won’t attack them except in self-defense.”
    Camera fades with the two starting to walk away from the windmill.

    Scene 2.a.ii.
    If the player waits until she’s all tuckered out then attacks, once Illney’s at ½ health, the cutscene will start with her leaning on her blade, holding a hand up while breathing heavily.
    “Hold up. Hold up. I *Pant* I’m too tired. Can we *Pant* try this again tomorrow? *Pant* Or maybe in an hour or two?”
    “I’ve got a better idea,” Aloysius says as he sweeps the blade from under her arms, knocking her flat on her back. Cutscene continues as 2.a.i.

    Scene 2.a. cont.
    When the player and Illney make it back to the other two, camera fades. Cutscene starts with Zam standing up, unsheathing her blade at the sight of Illney.
    “Aloysius, what are you doing? She almost killed Adam! Are you crazy?!” Zam says somewhat angrily.
    “Calm yourself, Zam. She’s on our side now. Right, Illney?”
    Illney nods and gives them the thumbs up signal. Zam slowly sheathes her blade again, still eyeing Illney suspiciously.
    “Well, what about Adam? He’s still bleeding pretty badly.”
    “Oh, I’ve got the answer to that!” Illney pipes up as she reaches into a pouch on her sleeve, pulling out a vial with a purple liquid in it. “Kavu blood! Heals anything it touches! Just like Phoenix tears, but easier to get!”
    “Well, see? Isn’t that nice of Illney, Zam? Please apologize for acting so cruelly to her.” Aloysius says somewhat mockingly.
    Zam mumbles a bit before snatching the kavu blood from Illney’s hand. Illney smiles as Zam spreads the kavu blood on Adam’s cuts and scrapes, getting a few coughs and sputters from him before he sits up and opens his eyes.
    “Glad I didn’t go towards the light. Or the darkness for that matter.” Adam says.
    “Thank the noggle. She supplied the kavu blood.” Aloysius says before pointing to Illney.
    “Hi!” Illney says with a small wave.
    Adam jumps up, pulling Burning Passion from its sheath, it instantly catching fire, before he rushes Illney, who, in defense, blows him back with a gust of wind. Adam is sent back 20 feet and crashes onto his back.
    “You let her back near me?! What is wrong with you guys?!” Adam says, trying to get back up.
    “Don’t attack her, for the love of Zumer! She’s on our side, now!” Aloysius bellows at Adam.
    “She tried to kill me! How do you know she won’t try again?!”
    “She promised, that’s how!”
    “Yeah, I promised! Noggles don’t break promises!” Illney calls to Adam. “If we did, would I have promised anything?”
    “… Touché…” Adam mumbles, sheathing his blade again.
    “So, now what?” Illney asks, somewhat bubbly.
    “Aloysius, where should we head next? Yana? Espra? Gris? Junda?” Zam asks, turning towards Aloysius. Camera fades after shooting back to Aloysius’ face for a couple seconds.

    ------------------------

    Alright, that's Illney's scene.


    Last edited by Loving Your Hate on Tue Nov 02, 2010 7:54 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Fixing spacing.)
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:51 am

    Scene 2.b.

    (This can be interchanged with 2.a. or 2.c.)

    If the player chooses to go to Yana, They’ll get to the edge of the forest before the cutscene starts. Cutscene begins with Aloysius’ foot hitting the dust just outside the forest. Camera pans up to the back of his neck before panning 180 degrees to his face, which is concentrated in thought. Camera turns first person on a character not yet seen in the forest, looking at Aloysius.

    Camera fades. Player then enters the forest, goes in a little ways, and camera fades again. This time, cutscene starts at first person view from an unknown vantage point, just above Aloysius, staring down at him. He steps forward, crushing a stick, which causes the first person view to swoop down, changing back to 3rd person to the side of the two. The character not yet revealed is shown to be a female human, about 19 or so, with pink hair, reddish eyes, and a pink blade with a green hilt. The pommel of the blade shows the leaf of a beech tree floating in the center. The girl stands fully erect and smiles.

    “So, what’re you doing in my forest?”

    “Your forest? I thought this was the land of Yana. Y’know, the Elven Forests?”

    “NO! THEY’RE MINE! THAT’S BLASPHEMY!”

    Camera fades at the girl lunging at Aloysius. Player is thrust into a battle with the girl alone. She is a somewhat difficult boss with nature at her disposal. After she’s down to ¼ health, Camera will fade. Next scene starts with her breathing heavily for 3 seconds before running off into the forest.

    “Hey, wait! I have some questions!” Aloysius calls after her before starting to run after her. Before he can get 10 steps in, though, 3 man-eating plants spring up from the ground. Camera fades and the player must defeat the plants before continuing on.

    After the plants are dead, another cutscene starts, showing a first person view from above again on Aloysius. This time, afterwards, the camera switches to the girl from earlier sitting in a tree, blade in hand, staring at Aloysius. After 3 seconds of this, she jumps down from the tree, snapping a twig, making Aloysius spin around.

    “So, whatchu want then?”

    “May I ask where you attained that blade, Madame?”

    The girl looks him up and down before walking towards him. “Found it in Tanab. Brought it here. Been living here ever since.” The girl brushes a stray hair from her face. “Name’s Danielle, by the way.”

    Aloysius nods. “Well, Danielle, may I ask how long it’s been since you found this blade?”

    “’Bout a week and a half. Why do you ask so many questions?” Danielle asks, cocking her head.

    “Just curious is all. Would you like to join me and a few others on a journey? I promise, they won’t hurt you. Much. I hope.”

    “Funny. Eh, I guess I could join you. Where’re these others you speak of?”

    “No clue right now. Probably-“

    “We’re probably on our way,” comes the voice of Adam.

    Danielle and Aloysius turn around to see Adam and Zam standing, blades sheathed and staring at Danielle.

    “Who’s she?” Zam asks.

    “Who’re you is a better question,” Danielle says, hands on her hips.

    “Lieutenant Zam Emlia of the army of Espra, who’s asking?” Zam replies through clenched teeth.

    “Danielle, daughter of the forest. And who’s he?”

    Adam nods, “Name’s Adam. I’m Aloysius’ brother. If you don’t like that, I don’t care.”

    Danielle looks at them suspiciously for 3 seconds before smiling at both of them. “So I’m guessing you’re these ‘Comrades’ this guy was talking about.”

    “Yep. And I’m guessing you’re going to be our newest recruit,” Zam replies.

    “That’s right! I could get used to having friends who don’t try to kill me everywhere I turn!” Danielle says before laughing a little.
    Aloysius raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘kill you at every turn’?”

    Danielle looks at them in turn before looking down. “I wouldn’t wanna bug you with the details,” She says somewhat sadly before looking up with a sunny disposition. “But c’mon! I can tell you guys later! For now, how about we find these other bla-“

    Just then, a single arrow flies through the air, just barely missing Zam’s nose and sticking into a nearby tree. Everyone looks towards the direction the arrow came from, each drawing their blades. A small platoon of elves stands on the path, wielding short swords and longbows. The head elf calls to the others in Elvish, and they all rush towards the 4 heroes. Camera fades and player is thrust into battle again. When all but one of the elves is dead, cutscene starts again with another arrow flying just past Adam’s ear into the ground nearby. Another small platoon is shown charging, and again the camera fades to fighting. After all but 2 elves are killed, cutscene starts with an arrow just missing Danielle’s left arm, another platoon joining in on the fight. When 3 elves remain standing, a fourth arrow is shot. This time, the player is given 3rd person view from right behind the arrow, which is flying right at Aloysius’ forehead. Just before it reaches him, a hand grabs it, and the camera pans 90 degrees to show the arrowhead about an inch from the bridge of his nose and Danielle to his right, hand outstretched with the arrow in it.

    “Thanks,” is all that comes out of his mouth.

    “Hey, don’t mention it!” She replies before running at the final platoon of elves. When there are only 4 elves remaining, cutscene starts with the 4 elves on the ground, trying to crawl away from the heroes. Adam raises his blade, causing a wall of fire to block the elves’ path.

    “Hold up, you four! You ain’t goin’ nowhere,” Adam says, advancing on them.

    “Why’d you guys attack us? Were we causing you trouble?” Zam says, standing to Adam’s left.

    “What’d we do, tread into your territory? This attack was unwarranted!” Danielle chimes in to Adam’s right.

    The elves hesitate before standing up and jumping through the wall of flame, incinerating themselves. Adam causes the fire to die down, showing only the charred remains of the elves.

    “Something scared them out of telling us. They’d rather have died than felt its wrath,” Aloysius says coolly, examining the bodies.

    “We gotta find out what, right?” Danielle asks, somewhat frightened.

    “Of course. But first, we need to gather the blades. This can wait a little longer,” Aloysius replies. Camera pans to the charred elves before fading. The player must now choose where to go. A tutorial box pops up when they make a step saying “The path to Espra is clear. Go see what you can find there. Maybe something helpful. Who knows?”
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Allen on Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:34 pm

    Too bad "bullshit" isn't an option.

    I joke, I joke.

    But still. If it was, I'd have submitted a vote.
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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

    Post by Zalgo the Imminent on Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:59 pm

    Good to see you made it here, Cryppy.

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    Re: Well, it's technically a story. Right?

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