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    Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

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    Murdoch
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    Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:06 pm

    Ok, Guys. Posting some of my poetry here. Starting from the beginning, tell me if you want more Smile

    JUDGEMENT

    Bathed in brilliant light, so
    completely naked, exposed before
    the eyes of hundreds. being judged,
    weighed,

    measured.
    do any of them know the real me? do any of them
    even care? or do they, with their fiendish minds
    seek to destroy what i have taken great care to build? my castle,

    my armour, my shield. all gone, all useless,
    before the judging of my peers. i ask myself
    do i even care? what do they know about me,
    to judge me so? do they know my thoughts, my

    feelings? no.
    they do not, and for that reason,
    I turn, and walk off the stage,
    that is the pedestal of my life. the curtains close,

    the ultimate barrier between me
    and my fellow men.



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Jade Hawk on Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:14 pm

    Dude! This is totally epic! I love it!

    So many people would agree with you here!




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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:37 pm

    That's like awesomely good man.

    KUDOS!
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:19 am

    Thank you Smile I'll try to write more tonight. Smile



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:04 am

    u better Very Happy
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Thu Oct 07, 2010 11:13 am

    Here's a new one Smile

    INCOMPARABLE

    How do I describe something
    That is indescribable?
    How do I compare something to something
    That is incomparable?

    I could describe the day,
    The way the noon-time sun shone, bright and warm
    On that summers day. The sweet, warm scent
    Of summer air, the feel of the cool grass in my fingers,

    And the warmth of mid-summer. I could not compare you
    To all these things, it wouldn’t be fair.
    These things are nothing
    Compared to you. The way your hair shines brighter than the sun itself,

    The scent of it, resting on my shoulder.
    The way your body feels, so warm, so
    Close to mine. I cannot help but wonder-
    Does the sun itself look down in envy, that it cannot shine as much as you?

    Does the moon watch in anger, that it cannot enchant me
    Half as much as you? Do other couples
    Look at us and glare
    At how we lie together, laughing together, without a care in the world?

    I wonder, then realize
    I don’t care.
    All that matters is you. I couldn’t compare you
    To anything-not the clear, blue lakes of scotland, that are

    Dirty and polluted, next to your eyes.
    not the beautiful Countryside of france, ugly and malformed
    compared to your face.
    Not the winter wonderlands of fairy tales, so black and disgusting

    Next to your pure, beautiful skin,
    Nor the exuisite rainforests of south america, which cannot
    Captivate me as much as your long, silky hair.
    Your voice,

    Your laugh,
    Ring truer to me than the clearest of bells.
    Your voice,
    Your laugh,

    More lovely than the greatest sonnet.
    Do swans gaze in sorrow,
    At your divine grace? You are truly an angel,
    And I wonder,

    What have I, a mere mortal, done
    To deserve such a miracle?
    What the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away,
    But I am not scared. I had never truly lived,

    Until I met you. And I would give you up
    Without remorse, for all things must end, sooner
    Or later, and I am fortunate to have you now, so close,
    And I thank the Lord for whatever short time

    He has given me with his most perfect creation.
    Even this poem
    Does you no justice, and I apologize.
    For how can I describe something

    That is indescribable? The answer-
    I can’t. so I won’t even try.



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Jade Hawk on Thu Oct 07, 2010 12:00 pm

    Sorry... I have to pick my jaw up off the floor.

    That is also amazing! Your special girl is so lucky to have you!
    =)




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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Thu Oct 07, 2010 1:40 pm

    Haha...well, I appreciate the sentiment, but I am sorry to say that, at this point in time- and indeed, most of my life so far- I have not had "another half". I think I've kissed a girl...once. Sad, but you know...either I'll find someone, or I won't. I have a lot of problems, and I think the first challenge would be finding a girl who can put up with me long enough to like me like that, lol.

    To be honest, this poem was more...well, its more like an idealogical poem. The sort of thing I would want to have, if I had it at all. I wouldn't want to be these couples that argue and fight and stay together because they feel they have to. I would want to stay together because we want to.

    But hey. What happens happens, what doesn't doesn't. I am glad you like the poem, though Smile Another one tomorrow, hopefully. I am sorry if I stall for a few days; it can be hard thinking up poems.



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:06 am

    Mumu a romantic at heart *nods*
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:44 am

    Razz Not a word of this to anyone outside this site. Roight?



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:07 am

    Oh sure
    Tell that to the Advertizer
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:10 am

    What do you mean?



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:25 am

    See my name tittle?
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:23 pm

    Yeah, Moderator. What does that have to do with you not mentioning my little issue outside of this website?



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:19 pm

    Not that!
    lookfurther down
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:23 pm

    Ah, the Advertiser. Well, just don't. I'm trusting you guys Sad

    PRISONER

    This face you see, my face,
    Is a lie. My life, as you see it,
    Is a lie. You think you know me,
    But no one does. You see laughter, jokes, happiness.

    But it’s a lie. Behind the eyes, which are laughing with you,
    is pain
    Pain at what people say, what people do to me
    How they laugh,

    Shove,
    Isolate.
    This mask I wear, the face you see,
    Is a lie.

    This costume I don, this suit I wear,
    Is a lie.
    I laugh off your comments, but did you know
    That I cry myself to sleep each night?

    You think me heartless, inconsiderate
    But I try. I try to let me-the real me-come out,
    Sometimes, like some perverse phantom
    of the opera. Haunting

    The shadows, creeping
    Through the rafters, but you just give me a hard stare,
    A sharp word. To shut up, and stop acting.
    I am bleeding, did you know that? A thousand cuts

    For a thousand words, a thousand hurts.
    I erected barriers, but you rip them down,
    Make me fear emerging
    From behind the mask, showing my true face.

    I cannot be myself.
    My castle, my guards, my armour.
    My prison, my wardens, my shackles.
    I cannot get out, I cannot escape.

    I’m a prisoner of my own protection.



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:25 pm

    Deep
    So true
    I feel ya man
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:30 pm

    Lol, Thank You. I know it sounds pitiful, but this is how I feel sometimes. I won't bore you with the whole story, but that is basically me on a bad day. Eh, I'm a teenager. I think I'm allowed some hormonal, depressed days. Very Happy



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:51 pm

    It's ok
    its normal for those who deep down emotionally sensitive.
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Sat Oct 09, 2010 6:53 am

    Lol...

    Ok, my next one. This covers a very sensitive subject, one that I am thankful that I have not had to deal with. I know one of my friends had to deal with it once, though.
    This poem does not reflect personal experience, and takes a slightly different stance then my usual attitude.
    This poem is split into four sections.

    DRIPPING

    1. Beginning

    It was a Sunday,
    I found myself sitting, staring
    Into space outside my house,
    Waiting for someone,
    That never came.

    The wind whispered
    Evil thoughts,
    I ignored it.
    The bushes snickered,
    I ignored them.

    I thought
    What could it be,
    Where could she be,
    What could have happened?

    Thoughts arrived, unbidden, unwanted.
    I tried to ignore them.

    A ringing, a piercing shrill note of despair
    And hope. I stopped it, listened
    Tried to tell them it was a mistake,
    It couldn’t be true no can’t be no it isn’t
    Must be some mistake.

    Of course it wasn’t. She wasn’t coming.
    Ever.


    2. Aftermath

    The ceremony was long,
    Dark,
    Depressing. All I loved was taken
    Away by a careless driver.

    A poisoned man, a deluded man, a man
    Frequently down the pub,
    Had taken from me the one thing that mattered most
    In my life.
    No parent to comfort, no friends to talk to, not really,

    Completely alone in my shell.
    On the drive home, quiet. The man beside me,
    Focusing on something, not the road. Opens his mouth
    As if to speak. Shuts it again, can’t blame him.
    The silence is deafening, but noise is worse.

    At school, silent stares
    And hushed whisperings, attempted sympathy,
    I don’t need it. I don’t need it’s ok
    She’s in a better place you’ll see her again don’t cry
    Don’t cry don’t cry.


    Don’t cry. See her again. Better place.
    I need her back.
    Can you get her back?
    Can you get her back?
    Don’t worry? Cheer up?

    My ass.


    3. Drip.

    Drip
    Drip
    Drip
    Drip


    The sound is pleasant.
    Hypnotic.
    Soothing.
    Relieving.

    All it took was a sharp stab
    Of pain, then it felt
    Good.
    Not the first time, not the last,

    Locked door, sink beside me,
    Sitting on the bath side,
    Thinking. I could end it,
    Right now, but I don’t want to.

    Drip
    Drip

    Like a metronome. Increase the speed,
    Decrease the time

    Long sleeved jumper rolled up arms,
    Roll them down when I leave.
    Its cold out, winter,
    At least for me.

    Almost time to stop, I hear a sound
    A running, pounding of feet,
    Up the stairs, I shrug.
    Locked door, privacy.

    Man bursts in, looking desperate,
    Maybe for the toilet?
    Obviously didn’t lock door,
    My mistake.

    Man stops, looks at me. Looks at sink,
    At bath.
    Drip
    Drip


    Man screams. Wrenches tool away from me.
    Asks me why why why? All I think
    Is where was he,
    When She died?

    4. End.

    Stares at school louder then before
    Silence is stretching
    Tools locked away
    Relief denied me.

    Sitting in a chair
    Man sitting across from me
    With clipboard and pen
    With glasses and wispy hair.

    How does that make you feel he asks
    How do you think?
    Tell me about your dreams
    No dreams are full of
    Monsters and drivers

    Need to stop relief
    Why should I
    Helps me
    Love the feeling

    Love the sound
    Drip drip drip
    Gives me peace
    Can’t you accept that?

    Obviously not
    Gives me prescriptions
    Gives me treatment
    That I don’t need

    Man drives sitting next to me
    Opens his mouth to speak
    Shuts it again
    Why can’t he ever talk?

    Standing on a chair
    In the air
    Coarse around my neck
    Slightly uncomfortable

    Can’t take the stares
    Can’t take the whispers
    Can’t take the treatment
    Can’t take the sympathy

    One step
    One jump
    Better place You’ll see her again soon
    Damn right I will.

    Check the coarseness
    Check the support
    Check everything
    Here goes.



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:51 am

    I had a friend who died bcuz of a drunk guy...
    That poem.
    Really deep and good
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Sun Oct 10, 2010 2:48 pm

    K, it looks like I've lost readers Sad
    Oh well...I wanted some feedback on that last one; it is about a very sensitive subject, and I wanted to know if I did a good job. I haven't contemplated it before, so I wouldn't know the thought processes.
    Oh well, here's another one for whatever readers I do have Smile


    UNOBTAINABLE

    I watch from a distance
    Even though its only a few feet.
    I see you from afar,
    But talk to you from so near.
    I see as you get hurt,

    From words, actions,
    Memories. You know how I feel
    About you, but I don’t
    Know your feelings for me.
    Hate?

    Love?
    Indifference?
    No matter. You’re too good
    For the likes of me.
    You, beautiful

    Smart
    Funny.
    Me, ugly
    Stupid
    Arrogant, and patronizing.

    I make an effort, but
    Always end up saying the wrong things.
    I wish I could tell you,
    Without fear or consequences,
    That I think you beautious, that

    Your grace shames even Angels.
    That I think you incomparable.
    But there is no such thing
    As actions without consequence,
    And I am a coward. I wish

    I could be like you-brave.
    So I could tell you these things,
    But I’m not. So I continue
    To watch you from a distance,
    To see you from afar.

    For me, you are unobtainable,
    And I must live with that.
    You will always be

    My greatest ‘what if’.



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:21 am

    Hum. Looks like I no longer have readers... Sad



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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Guest on Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:35 am

    great poems mate look forward to reading more
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    Re: Murdochs Epic Poetry Post :)

    Post by Murdoch on Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:09 am

    Lol, at least that's one. Smile




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