HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2015!

    Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Share
    avatar
    Mercy
    The Master of Horror
    The Master of Horror

    Posts : 1410
    Join date : 2010-11-21
    Age : 24
    Location : Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

    Update Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Mercy on Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:10 pm

    Age eight you were bent over in the yard
    our dog barking and sniffing at the air
    your bloody hands trembling as you held the creature
    voice quiet,

    “I love it.”

    I assumed you meant the squirrel.

    Age ten,
    I found you on the bathroom floor
    blood dripping from your elbows onto the tile

    You claimed you were testing your pain tolerance.

    Laughing as doctors sewed your arms back up.

    In high school,
    you drew blue blood from pale flesh,
    fist drove into teeth.

    Playing with pocket knives
    and pistols,
    instead of soccer balls and video games.
    No matter how many times I grounded you.

    Leaving me shaken
    as the principal called me in to talk about your
    ‘anger management’ and to consider therapy.

    Your face haunts me
    the media lurks outside my window.

    Misty eyes glued to flickering televisions
    as you sit there at the podium
    devilish grin on your face
    as you deny everything.

    Even though they found,
    a heart in your freezer.

    I tear through photo albums,
    Reminiscing at your baby pictures.

    People don’t want to hear,
    how you brought me flowers on Mother’s Day
    how you were always
    smiling, and laughing.

    They only want to know
    how you are going to be punished
    what other things you’ve been hiding
    under the floor boards, and in your attic.

    I could not bring myself to call you a monster.

    I still want to believe
    you loved that squirrel.


    Last edited by Mercy on Wed Nov 09, 2011 9:14 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Edits to the poem)
    avatar
    Jade Hawk
    Founder
    Founder

    Posts : 2879
    Join date : 2010-10-04
    Age : 26
    Location : London(UK) and Calgary (Canada)

    Update Re: Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Jade Hawk on Fri Nov 04, 2011 10:53 am

    It has a really good flow to it, and I love how you brought the squirrel back at the end. It's just a liiiittle freaky to read right after waking up! And it's sad. But I do like it =) Well done!

    PS: CV claimed




    Running wolf
    avatar
    Mercy
    The Master of Horror
    The Master of Horror

    Posts : 1410
    Join date : 2010-11-21
    Age : 24
    Location : Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

    Update Re: Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Mercy on Sun Nov 06, 2011 3:22 pm

    Thank you Jade Smile that means a lot
    avatar
    Alix Labe
    The Toy Maker
    The Toy Maker

    Posts : 548
    Join date : 2010-12-21
    Age : 24
    Location : Arkansas

    Update Re: Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Alix Labe on Wed Nov 09, 2011 8:52 pm

    It does sound good. Dont take this the wrong way but, this is about some kid thats really fucked up in the head? we have alot in common Very Happy
    avatar
    Allen
    Admin's Pet
    Admin's Pet

    Posts : 478
    Join date : 2010-11-29
    Age : 23
    Location : Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

    Update Re: Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Allen on Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:23 pm

    Alix... That question is... Just... Wow.

    Good job.
    avatar
    Mercy
    The Master of Horror
    The Master of Horror

    Posts : 1410
    Join date : 2010-11-21
    Age : 24
    Location : Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

    Update Re: Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Mercy on Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:26 pm

    I was thinking about a serial killer, I'unno.
    avatar
    Alix Labe
    The Toy Maker
    The Toy Maker

    Posts : 548
    Join date : 2010-12-21
    Age : 24
    Location : Arkansas

    Update Re: Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Alix Labe on Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:02 am

    mmm i like it. thank allen Razz
    avatar
    Allen
    Admin's Pet
    Admin's Pet

    Posts : 478
    Join date : 2010-11-29
    Age : 23
    Location : Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

    Update Re: Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Allen on Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:08 am

    ...That was... Sarcasm... Humm.

    Sponsored content

    Update Re: Obsessions - Could use some real help. Please

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Tue Oct 17, 2017 1:47 pm